I am waking up to a very deep (and to me new) revelation. I have started to look into the fact that I, as a postmodern woman, am so deeply ambivalent to life.
This ambivalence is a deeply conditioned structure and I can see how this is effecting my walk and talk in daily life, but more important it is preventing consciousness to develop.

Once my teacher, Andrew Cohen, touched this ambivalency I immediately had a strong recognition with the fact that it is true. I am holding myself back to wholeheartely participate. Yes, of course, I am "working" to be a good mum, wife, employee, friend, daughter, developing human being, etcetra. But that is not what the future needs.

It needs a much bigger recognition with the Lifeprocess and the place I have in that. And that recognition is starting to unfold in me. Now I am starting to surrender to this ever evolving Lifeprocess and I feel an ever deepening commitment to this Lifeprocess. The doubt and the backlashes are still there (and will ever be), but my intention is stronger and therefor the pulling back movements don't get a lot of attention anymore.

And the most beautiful thing is happening... Because I surrender and commit to the Lifeprocess my commitment to all the domains in my daily life is so much stronger and clearer. And as a result I am very slowly, but surely  becoming a more trustworthy person. And the people I live with can relax so much more in my presence. And that is one of the ways to see that a new way for human beings to life with one another is actually possible.

I saw this movie yesterday: As it is in heaven. It's a Swedisch production from 2004. I was deeply touched by the story, the acting and the music.
There was a message in the movie that was so beautiful. In one scene Daniel says to Lena: "Everything is already there. All the potential is present. But WE have to bring it into manifestation."

Aknowledging that evolution has a direction to higher complexity inevitably makes clear that there is a role for us, for me, in it. As human species we developed a high level of complexity. Isn't it a weird idea that we humans just recently gained the capacity to be conscious of our own consciousness? Talking about higher levels of complexity... For me it took a while to really appreciate and see what that means. And to realize that this is absolutely not the end of the story...

So, that means that we (the people who are wealthy enough, educated, in the position to spend time on these questions, who are not busy with surviving day to day and feel the spiritual impulse to evolve) can really be the change at the leading edge of the human evolution. Just recently I began to see what that would ask of me. Step out of the box of my tunnelvision and narcistic life, open up to the evolution of the cosmos, transcend my ego to a very large degree and live an authentic life. I was already on the spiritual path, but even that was mainly about me as the centre of my existence (narcistic, isn't it?).

But, coming back to what Daniel said to Lena, what if we want to bring in manifestation the unimaginable potential? Can we really create new structures in our consciousness and in the culture of human beings? I slowly but surely begin to believe it is really possible. And that is so thrilling. Starting to feel that there is a potential that can be brought into existence in the manifest world, step by step.

In the centre of EnlightenNext in Amsterdam (www.andrewcohen.org) we regularly come together with the goal to push the evolution of consciousness further and further (it is a bold goal, but it is worth the try...:-)). It is so beautiful to see that every person involved is giving every tiny bit of integrity and morality, from the point where he or she is, to this process. What happens is the collective creation of a sort of  "egoless field" and opening up to what comes from it. I never could have imagined that coming together with such an autonomy and sense of communion could have this potential and creation... It is really the creation of something new in evolution. A lot of the people involved are rather new to this territory (as I am), but luckely we have some good guides around us. And we are surely not the first to do this. A few (or a lot, I don't know) have made the grooves we are using right now. And that is the evidence to me... That it is possible to make new grooves in the evolution of consciousness and that this is the doorway for others to follow. For the rest to come the transformation process speeds up. And that is why my personal transformation, which will take the rest of my life, is not only for me but for the sake of the whole. For mankind to develop higher levels of morality, integrity and care. It is necessary to make these grooves deeper and wider. And that is where I can contribute. Just that tiny little bit. So that my choices, behavior, do's and don'ts are a reflection of this level of integrity, morality and care.

It is a very demanding path. Because I can't avoid anything anymore. I have awakend to this life process and my role in it and I don't want (can't) go to sleep anymore. But the effort I put into it (transcending ego, meditating every day, take responsibility, avoid nothing, questioning my relationship to thought, feelings, time, etc) becomes effortless when I realize the big context it is happening in (cosmological, nondual, evolution of consciousness itself, etc.).

Everything I have read from the old great minds (Buddha, Krishnamurti, Thich Nath Hahn, etc.) to the new ones (Eckhart Tolle, Ken Wilber, Deepak Chopra, Don Beck, Andrew Cohen, etc) is starting to fall in its place. It is like layers of dust in my mind and consciousness are blown away. To stay grounded in this and to realize it is a day to day practise, well, that makes me humble and inspired at the same time.

I just watched The New Story of Brian Swimme on www.global-mindshift.org

http://www.global-mindshift.org/memes/swimmeseries/step1-1.asp?bandwidth=high

and what is so amazing about this film is that it gives such a big perspective on life. It is beautifully told by Brian Swimme and it is a confronting and inspiring story. This is what evolution is about! And it is about my path with Evolutionary Enlightenment, to give birth myself to a consciousness in an evolutionary perspective.

I've read this sentence on the internet: To unmantle the lawyers of inconvenience. Mmm....
My eyes are wide open, I am awakened to the fact that trancending my ego is so important (in an evolutionary context), but what happens? The ordinary life with husband, children, family, friends and work is so destracting... (it's my ego speaking). And that is what makes me feel so inconvenient and restless. I feel this high and evolutionary purpose, but to live it in the manifest world, that is what it is all about.

In these Christmas holidays meditation has not been my priority. I didn't do it every day and instantly the manifest-ego-fullfilling-life-perspective is taking over. I recognized it but I had these very good excuses to not spend too much attention to it (again my ego is speaking). And it made me feel so inconvenient... (poor ego thing).

Now I want to turn it around again. To make that shift it is necessary to sit down, meditate, contemplate and write on my blog (because writing about it gives words to the current situation (ego-state) ánd to my deep urge to grow in this process and to transcend my ego). Now, when I again give my attention to what is actually true instead of how I feel about it, it speeds things up and my perspective instandly gets much bigger. I want to stop playing games and step out of the small-minded life perspective. And because I know that is what I cán do, because I already experienced it, it is like unmanteling one or two lawyers of inconvenience.

From http://www.andrewcohen.org/:
Q: Why do you say the world's predicament is a spiritual crisis?

A: Well, because it's obvious that no individual or group consciously chose to pollute or overpopulate the world. But simply because of a lack of awareness, a small-minded and self-centered perspective on the part of individuals and entire cultures, we have created the crisis that we are in. And it's not that we don't have the practical means to address the problems that we face, but we're still looking at these problems from that same old perspective that created them. So there is a leap that desperately needs to be taken by a significant minority-a leap in consciousness, a moral leap, a spiritual leap. We need to evolve our consciousness beyond this lower level of development, this small-minded and self-centered perspective, to a much higher and more all-embracing view.

Irene's reflection:
This is what's happening with me this past year. I was-I am that self-centered and small-minded human that was having a good life (and sometimes worried about the planet and the crisis that's going on). But after giving some money to charity and have a good talk about it, I returned to my warm and comfortable life. I was already walking a spiritual path, but most of the time it was about ME.
And now all I can think about is my responsibility in the evolutionary process. I feel this big "YES" inside of me to face my attachment to my ego and to transcend it more and more. And I am practising it right here, right now.  And if evolution is really to unfold through us, what will I do with this new awakening consciousness? And here the beautiful connection with Spiral Dynamics (SDi) and the AQAL of Wilber comes into the story. In my job at the Policeacademy I am currently in a constant search for new answers with more complexity for the existing complex problems in our society and policeorganisations. For me it is extremely difficult to make those new connections in my brain and really be authentic, creative, smart, present, specific and visionary about what is needed. But slowly and, I believe, surely the answers come up. And I sense there are more and more people open to really look with new perpectives. If we work together, profound things happen. And that is why I practise the spiritual path, to free myself more and more from ego-attachment so that it won't stop my availability to participate wholeheartedly in the evolutionary process.

If you would like to do good, make a real difference (and work on your left-under quadrant- for Wilberians) consider writing letters for Amnesty International (www.amnesty.org or www.amnesty.nl). It is such an easy thing to do and it works like "throwing healthy bombs". And with the coming holidays think about all these people in prison because of the same ideals we share. Free a bit of your time, write a letter, sent it and the bomb is dropped!

I started meditating a few months ago. And sometimes (almost every day) I felt I had "trouble" with meditating. This answer of Andrew Cohen helps me to step into the simplicity of meditation:

If you're having trouble with meditation, that means you're not really doing it. The powerful thing about meditation is its radical simplicity-be still, be at ease, pay attention. That's the beauty of it-meditation means doing absolutely nothing. And there are only two positions in relationship to that: you either do it or you don't. But often human beings find this simplicity unbearable. It confronts us with ourselves at the deepest level, and most of us just can't bear that degree of transparency. But that's why it's important to learn how to meditate. It is only in the exquisite simplicity of doing absolutely nothing that you begin to be able to see yourself in ways you ordinarily would never be able to do. If you really engage with this unbearable simplicity, it's impossible to hide from yourself.

Andrew Cohen's teaching is about:
Evolutionary Nonduality

One of the unique aspects of the post-postmodern, post-traditional, post-metaphysical evolutionary dharma that he teaches is the integration of the nonduality of enlightened awareness with the understanding that, as individuals, we are all part of a developmental process that is desperately in need of our wholehearted participation. The whole point here is that the evolution of consciousness itself is entirely dependent upon the evolution of the consciousness of the individual. The degree to which the individual is willing to embrace the fact that the creation of the future literally depends upon him or her alone, is the degree to which that individual awakens to what he calls the authentic self-which is the evolutionary impulse, the same energy and intelligence that initiated the entire creative process.

The traditional definition of enlightenment is the realization that there is only One-one without a second-and that One is who and what the self always ultimately is. In evolutionary enlightenment, that One refers not only to the empty ground from which the material universe sprang forth, but also to that creative impulse that initiated the developmental process and is driving it in this very moment. This teaching says that the reason we need to transcend the postmodern psychological disease of extreme narcissism is so that we can be that One without a second, together with others, in an intersubjective nondual embrace of and engagement with the evolutionary process as ourselves, in order to truly find out what's possible at the leading edge of human potential.

 www.andrewcohen.org

Last week the Introductory Course to EE ended. A lot of participants were so interested and touched by this teaching that we wanted to meet again. We met yesterday in Amsterdam at EnlightenNext at the Oudeschans. It was a very inspiring evening. Because all the participants that really wanted to explore this path with themselfs and with others returned on this evening. We spoke about the classes and could deepen some of the impacts of things we already discussed some classes before. A lot of us could feel that this month had changed so much in our lifes. Again, it is a fundamental choice to live life from an absolute, non-relative perspective. And the more I learn about it and about my specific role in it, the more I feel that this is so crucial for the evolutionary process itself.
It lightens my learning path and it deepens the impact of my choices.

Check out www.andrewcohen.org or www.wie.org or www.arjan.zaadz.com

One person...

One idea...

I believe you and I will change the world. You can help... visit the site, order a shirt, pick a charity and send a message... your message. Look at www.mondonation.com.